Why Are Men Selfish? The Truth Revealed.

Why Are Men Selfish? The Truth Revealed

Introduction: Exploring the reasons behind men’s selfish behavior

The Fragile Ego

A selfish man has a huge but fragile ego. He’s obsessed with his public image and wants to look good at all times.

Thus, he finds it hard to share the spotlight with anyone else. This constant need for validation and attention leads to selfish behavior, as he will always choose himself over others.

Lack of Empathy

Another reason why men can be selfish is due to a lack of empathy. Men are often taught to suppress their emotions and not show vulnerability.

This can lead to a lack of understanding and compassion towards others, making it easier to prioritize their own wants and needs.


Society has long taught men that they are entitled to certain privileges and advantages, such as higher wages and more opportunities. This entitlement can manifest in selfish behavior as men may feel that they are deserving of special treatment and are willing to put their own interests above others.

Men being selfish

The Psychology of Selfishness in Men

Selfishness in men is a complex topic that requires a deep understanding of human psychology. While some may view selfishness as purely negative, others would beg to differ, often citing examples of “healthy selfishness”, such as putting oneself first when dealing with personal matters.

Selfishness vs. Narcissism: Understanding the Difference

One of the primary things we need to understand about selfishness in men is the difference between selfishness and narcissism. Narcissism is often thought of as a personality disorder, whereas selfishness is a natural human behavior in certain situations.

Narcissists often have a grandiose sense of self-importance and demand admiration from others, but their self-centered actions can be damaging to those around them. On the other hand, selfish behavior could be a means of self-preservation, especially in certain situations.

The Biological and Evolutionary Reasoning Behind Men’s Selfish Behavior

Research suggests that men may be genetically wired to be more selfish than women. This could be because men have evolved to be more competitive and aggressive in their pursuit of resources, as a means of survival.

Testosterone, which is largely responsible for male behavior, can also play a role in selfish behavior. Studies have shown that this hormone can lead to an increase in selfishness and general aggressiveness, especially in highly competitive situations.

The Role of Upbringing in Men’s Selfish Behavior

Aside from biological factors, upbringing can also play a major role in shaping men’s selfish behavior. A child who is not taught to share or prioritize the needs of those around them may grow up with a more selfish mindset, as opposed to one who has been taught the value of caring for others.

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How Negative Experiences and Trauma Affect Men’s Selfishness

Experiences of trauma, stress, and difficult life events can also affect men’s selfish behavior. Some may become more self-absorbed as a means of coping with these events, while others may become more empathetic and caring.

It’s important to remember that while selfishness in men can be a difficult behavior to deal with, it’s not necessarily always negative. Understanding the reasons behind men’s selfish behavior can help us cope with it better, and hopefully, come to a more positive outcome for all.

An image of a man not sharing his food with others

Why Are Men Selfish in Relationships?

Selfishness is one of the common reasons why relationships fail. But why are men often tagged as selfish partners?

According to experts, one of the reasons is their socialization growing up. Masculine social norms often prioritize self-achievement, competition, and individualism, which can influence men’s behavior in romantic relationships.

Moreover, communication styles and emotional intelligence can also affect men’s selfishness in relationships. Men who struggle with expressing their emotions or understanding their partner’s emotions may become more self-centered.

On the other hand, those who are emotionally intelligent and empathetic can become more selfless partners.

Attachment styles can also play a role in men’s selfishness in relationships. Men who have an avoidant attachment style may prioritize their independence over their partner’s needs.

Meanwhile, those with an anxious attachment style may struggle with jealous tendencies and require constant reassurance from their partner.

The bottom line is that selfishness is a behavior and can be changed. Effective communication, emotional intelligence, and a secure attachment style can all help men become more selfless partners.

An image of a couple arguing

The Consequences of Men’s Selfishness

Selfishness is an innate trait in humans. However, when selfishness is left unchecked and becomes excessive, it can have negative consequences that affect both the person and those around them.

How Men’s Selfish Behavior Affects Others: A Look at the Societal Implications

Men’s selfish behavior can have far-reaching effects on the people around them, particularly on their relationships. When men prioritize their own needs and wants over others, it can create tension, stress, and even conflict within personal relationships, families, and communities.

Moreover, men’s selfish behavior also contributes to societal problems such as sexism, misogyny, and toxic masculinity. The dominance and entitlement that selfish men display can reinforce harmful gender stereotypes, which can lead to gender inequality and the oppression of women.

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The Negative Impact of Men’s Selfishness on Mental Health

Selfishness can also have a negative impact on men’s mental health. When men prioritize their own needs and wants over others, they may feel a sense of isolation and disconnection from the people around them.

This can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and even depression.

Moreover, when men are overly selfish, they may struggle with forming meaningful connections and building lasting relationships. This can further exacerbate feelings of loneliness and isolation, which can lead to a wide range of mental health problems.

The Effects of Men’s Selfishness on Professional and Career Development

Men’s selfish behavior can also have a negative impact on their professional and career development. When men prioritize their own needs and wants over those of their colleagues and coworkers, it can lead to a toxic work environment that undermines productivity, teamwork, and collaboration.

Furthermore, when men are overly selfish, they may be less likely to take feedback and criticism from others, which can hamper their ability to learn and grow in their careers.

The Role of Men’s Selfishness in Gender Inequality and Patriarchy

Finally, men’s selfishness also plays a significant role in maintaining systems of gender inequality and patriarchy. When men prioritize their own needs and wants over those of women and other marginalized groups, it reinforces harmful gender stereotypes and patterns of male dominance.

In order to address these issues, men must learn to recognize and address their own selfish behaviors. This requires a willingness to take responsibility for their actions, to empathize with others, and to prioritize the needs and wants of others as well as their own.

An image of a sad person alone

Combatting Men’s Selfishness

Men are often accused of being selfish and only thinking about themselves. However, this behavior is not inherent in all men and can be addressed through various methods.

Fostering Empathy and Altruism

One effective way to combat selfishness in men is to promote empathy and altruism. Empathy allows men to understand and feel the emotions of others, making them more compassionate and considerate.

Altruism, on the other hand, encourages men to act in the best interests of others, even at their own expense. By nurturing these traits, men can overcome their selfish tendencies and become more engaged in the needs of those around them.

Promoting Positive Masculinity

Another effective method is to promote positive masculinity and discourage negative masculine social norms. Toxic masculinity often involves behavior that values dominance, aggression and the objectification of women, which can breed selfishness.

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Instead, we can encourage men to embrace positive qualities like compassion, kindness, and vulnerability, which can foster a sense of community and care for others.

Addressing Trauma and Negative Experiences

Many men who exhibit selfish behavior may have experienced trauma or negative experiences in childhood or adulthood, leading to feelings of insecurity and a lack of self-worth. By addressing these underlying issues through therapy or self-reflection, men can gain a better understanding of their behavior and learn to overcome selfish tendencies.

Encouraging Self-Reflection

Self-reflection is another way for men to overcome selfishness. By taking time to reflect on their actions and behavior, men can gain insight into how their behavior affects others.

It also allows men to take responsibility for their actions and make positive changes in their behavior and attitudes.

Combatting men’s selfishness is a process that requires effort and commitment.

An image of a group of people holding hands


Selfishness in men is not an innate trait but rather a learned behavior influenced by biological, environmental, and societal factors. It is important to understand and address the root causes of this behavior in order to create a more empathetic and altruistic society for all.

Whether it is through individual self-reflection or larger societal changes, combating selfishness in men can lead to a more fulfilling and harmonious existence.


Frequently Asked Questions

What causes a man to be selfish?

Some mental health problems can contribute to the development of selfishness.Many personality disorders, particularly antisocial personality disorder and narcissistic personality disorder, cause people to be so wrapped up in their own desires that they either do not notice or do not care about the needs of others.

How do you deal with a selfish man?

If you feel he is acting too selfish, take some time away from him. Concentrate on your work and focus on your health.

How do selfish men behave?

A selfish person only cares about their own needs and disregards the needs of others- even of people close to them.

Is man selfish by nature? Why are we instinctively cooperative?

So it seems that it's possible the great thinkers of our history may have been wrong—perhaps we are not as selfishly wired as we think. The findings from the public goods game study and infant studies suggest that we may be actually instinctively cooperative rather than selfish.

Jonathan B. Delfs

I love to write about men's lifestyle and fashion. Unique tips and inspiration for daily outfits and other occasions are what we like to give you at MensVenture.com. Do you have any notes or feedback, please write to me directly: [email protected]

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